Twin Cities Difficult Dinner Conversations Supperclub

Minnesota Nice is a two edge sword.

Being taught to avoid talking about difficult topics such as politics, race, sex, and religion has led to a lack of understanding of these topics. What we should have been taught was how to have a civil conversation about a difficult topic.

This group is a dinner party focused on having conversations about different viewpoints. Each week we will get together and have dinner, and try to accept the gift of learning from each other's viewpoints. The goal is not to 'convert' but rather understand, learn and grow.

While we have a core group of people we encourage new members and will strive to reach out and invite others with different points of view to join us. We are not much for 'rules' but here are our guidelines:

1. We start and stop on time. 
2. If somebody has a different viewpoint than yours strive to understand it, do not strive to change their view. Respect them and value them for sharing it with you. 
3. If you feel unaccepted please try to address the issue openly with all people. If that is not possible please talk to a host privately. 

FAQ

Q) Where and where is this?
A) The weekly dinner is in homes (typically on Wednesdays or Thursday) around the Twin Cities. Mostly in NE Minneapolis. We are starting to have a 'social hour' at a public venue.

Q) The dinner events only have 8 tickets and all are gone within a few minutes of the event being posted?
A) We really didn't think this was going to take off the way it did. We will continue to do our best to make sure everybody who is interested in a dinner event has the chance to join us. We are also starting frequent social hours. The purpose of the social hour is so more people can attend and express what topics they are interested in. Then after somebody has expressed interest in a topic at a social hour we will privately invite them to the dinner on that topic before we open it up to the public. This way we get people who are interested in the evening's dinner topic.

Q) When is the next event and how do I attend?
A) Events are posted on our facebook page (fb.me/difficultdinner) If you are interested in joining us please message us on Facebook or email us at info@difficultdinner.com. We cross-post social hour events to our Meetup page.


Q) Are drinking/drugs allowed?
A) We are tolerant of all lifestyle choices. Many people have alcohol with dinner (please do so responsibly). Please do not bring anything illegal into the hosts home.


Q) Are the topics limited to religion and politics?
A) No. We cover pretty much any 'difficult' topic. Some of the most engaging topics have been discussion and understanding of alternative sexual lifestyles, many of which still seem to be 'underground'

Q) I am ___ (White nationalist, Extreme antigovernment movement, Black separatist/nationalist, Anti-LGBT, Anti-immigrant, Male supremacy, Anti-Muslim, Kinky, LGBT, Muslim, Christian, autistic, depressed, a Nickelback fan, etc) will I be welcomed?
A) YES! We are all different in our own way. Let's learn from each other.


Q) Are there any lifestyle you would not welcome?
A) We have not found one yet. Yes, take this as a challenge ;)

Q) Can I just ask why you included people like White Supremacists (Nationalists)? 
A) Any person with an open mind and willing to explore other peoples ideas are welcome. Why? Because love wins. Our hope is over time thru greater understanding we can all come together. Zachary R. Wood gave a great Ted Talk on Why it is worth listening to people you disagree with.

Q) I was banned from the public facebook page, why?
A) Any person with an open mind and willing to explore other peoples ideas are welcome. We only ban people who do not demonstrate these shared values. 

Q) Are these events associated with any religion or lifestyle?
A) NO! While we accept and encourage people to have their own lifestyle we stand in opposition to using these dinners to proselytize any view as "correct". We strive to create a space for diverse conversation.


Q) Why are you doing this?
A)  We were sitting around lamenting that the current 'dialog' in US politics was a stagnant echo chamber. We caught ourselves just complaining that society needs practice in respecting and learning different points of view. This is our attempt to move from complaining to action.


Q) The Facebook group membership is not public.  Why?
A) We have a private group on facebook for vetted members (people who have attended a dinner party). We use this to cultivate new ideas and ensure we have a balanced set of views at each dinner party. We had to make it private because some topics seem to encourage internet trolling and we want it to be a safe place for people. We have a public facebook group for people who are interested in learning more. The public facebook group (fb.me/difficultdinner) is the best place for people to reach out to hosts and learn about upcoming events. We cross-post on alternative lifestyle websites and our Meetup.com page. 

Q) I like to cook. Can I bring anything?
A) Of course, but it is not necessary. The evening's host will typically arrive 1hr before and set up. You are welcome to work with them during the week in advance to engage in however you see fit.  Over time we may turn this more into a pot-luck, but for now, it is honestly easiest if we just do the cooking.


Q) Does this cost anything?
A) There is no cost for the dinners. Typically the host covers the cost of the food (think budget food) On some dinner parties where we are studying a culture or food and the cost is significant people will help pick up the tab. At social hours people need to pick up their own bar tab.


Q) I'm in the closet about my point of view. Will participating in this "out me"?
A) We start each dinner asking the members to respect each other's confidentiality and points of view.


Q) How many people are at a typical event?
A) We limit the table to 8 people. Two hosts and 6 guests. Often times somebody can't come at the last minute.


Q) It is the last minute and I can't attend. What do I do?
A) If this is the first time this happened, don't worry about it. Let the host know with as much notice as possible.